True Loves First Kiss
by Pampers Baby Dry
Summary: Sometimes love doesn't come in the form of a Dashing Prince.....This is the tale of Shrek's oldest.
1. Prologue

**True Loves First Kiss**

**Prologue**

Like every fairytale there's a princess. She's so beautiful and so damsel in distress that a handsome dashing prince must come on his great white steed and rescue her from the tallest tower. But get this, there's always some form of peril in which the Prince must slay something for the princess' heart. For as long as anyone could remember its always been a blood thirsty dragon out to eat the flesh and bones of the stupid knights. Oh and lets not forget the beautiful kiss they share at the top of the tower after Prince Charming had slain the evil beast. They call it True Loves First Kiss, I call it a bunch of BS!

It was just some hocus pocus tale to send women into a frenzy to search for there own happy ending with some dashing prince who had a heart of gold and a visage of a lion. But when these hopeful women don't find there princes, they are killed inside and find themselves marrying some pig farmer, who had the gut of a boar and a mouth just as filthy. There isn't a prince in fine linen for everyone, but prince charming isn't on the outside, it's the image of the inside that woman wished to see and they often get that mixed up, with wavy blonde curls, bright mysterious blue eyes, and the frame of an athlete. Its all a lie ladies! Its just imagination!

The last princess to not marry a prince was Princess Fiona, who had been locked in a tower with a female dragon that only wanted to be loved. Princess Fiona was totally into the whole saved-by-a-dashing-handsome-prince-who-slayed-the-evil-dragon-and-they-rode-off-into-the-sunset-on-his-white-noble-steed. To bad her Prince was an Ogre named Shrek, who was sent on a mission to bring her to Lord Farquaad, who was a man of short stature.

But of course like all love stories, there's a catch. Princess Fiona had a spell cast on her when she was little : By night one way, by day another, this shall be the norm until you find true loves first kiss and take loves true form. And of course she became an ogre at night, and look at the irony. An Ogre as her Knight in Shinning armour. It was meant to be from the beginning, but they didn't know that, even when they fell in love. It wasn't until Fiona was about to kiss Lord Shortsalot that Shrek came and disrupted the wedding, Fiona finally told him about the curse, The lady dragon ate the short lord, and Fiona and Shrek kissed. And got married and lived happily ever after! The happiest most weirdest love story around.

This story isn't about a Princess and a Prince falling in love and getting married. Its about how Love doesn't need to come in the form of a dashing young prince.

And so our story begins in Far Far Farther Away……


	2. Chapter 1

**True Loves First Kiss**

**Chapter 1**

"You What!!"

Now you all are probably wondering what's going on. I dare you to guess. Take a look at the princess' face, all scrunched up in horror, disbelief shinning through her aquamarine eyes. And then there's the King and Queen. The Kings expression is filled with guilt, while the Queen looks absolutely ecstatic ( you can totally guess who's bright idea this was.) Have you guessed what they did? No? well I'll just have to tell you. Two words.

Arranged Marriage.

There goes her happily every after out the window. Shall we get back to the princess?

"But Dear its for your own good!" said the Queen. Princess Jenna couldn't believe her mother just said that, her mother knew Jenna's dream - to fall in love. Why would she go out and just disregard her dreams like that.

"My own good!" she said, "How's being stuck in a loveless marriage for my own good!"

"Honey, you'll learn to love each other!"

Ah and there it is. That one sentence that meant everything - and nothing at all. It was an empty sentence, I mean look at her parents. The King looks like he's about to be mauled by the Queen or a least loose feeling in his arm as she hugged it to her huge bosom. Now there's defiantly love in the air for the Queen, but the King looked like he wanted to die - there might be love in the bedroom, but not in the marriage!

"What like you!" she hissed. It went silent.

"YES!" cried her mother. Princess Jenna looked at her father with pleading eyes. He looked away and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Pumpkin but you are eighteen and to ascend the throne and by law you must be wed." he grumbled. Jenna looked down, her shoulders dropping and her strawberry blonde bangs hung in front of her eyes, shielding them from the view of the crystalline tears that were threatening to fall. The King looked like he wanted to punch himself for hurting his little girl, because clearly both he and his -ahem- wife did. Stupid laws! He cursed silently. The Queen didn't even looked like this was affecting her, and in all actually it wasn't. She was happy, her baby girl was getting married to a fine Prince.

"Now that this is settled, you best get to bed, you are meeting the Prince tomorrow for a date" she squealed, "Oh isn't this just exciting, Fredrick, our baby girl is getting married!" The King nodded his head absently. He really wasn't in the zone.

"You already set up a date!" Jenna squeaked out feebly.

"Why of course! Its for you to get to know him better!" said the Queen.

"You keep saying he, who is he!?"

Notice how they keep dodging the question? There's a reason.

"Why your school girl crush, Prince James the third!"

And Jenna's world shattered. Prince James had been the crush of every Princess at Worcestershire Academy, the very same guy that had picked on her constantly for the last couple years. Sure she crushed on him, but that was before he started to call her ugly and freakish because of her family relations! The guy was the biggest jerk in all the land!! And her parents knew it.

"School girl, Mother! That means I liked him when I was in school!" she said, "I'm not in school anymore!"

"What's wrong with him? He's handsome, strong, oh so very chiselled…" the Queen trailed off. Jenna gapped. He may have been all those things, but it didn't excuse his irritating behaviour!

"Then you marry him!"

"Oh but I can't dear, I'm already hitched" giggled her mother.

The King just watched as the two women battled back and forth, it was like a game of ping-pong or tennis.

He was the typical man, staying out of arguments where women were concerned. Because when women argued it got violent. It was like a battlefield of snappy comebacks, but that's if they managed to stop, but if it escalated it became physical - scratching, pulling of the hair. You can see him shuddering at the thought.

Princess Jenna sighed. She gave up the fight, but she hasn't given up the war.

"When am I to wed him?" she asked.

"In a week" The Queen grinned proudly. Princess Jenna's mind was working over time, which means she has a whole week to figure out how to avoid Prince James III and hopefully find some flaw in the laws.

But there is no escaping the laws, written by past kings. She'll have to learn that.

"Now , go to bed, you have a long day tomorrow and you want to look your best for James!" cooed her mother. Jenna rolled her eyes. Oh she'd look her best alright.

"Goodnight mother" she said walking over, placing a chaste kiss on her mothers powdery cheek. "Goodnight father" and kissed his cheek.

"Goodnight Pumpkin" he said.

Princess Jenna acted all the Princess she was, as she walked from the room, but when the doors closed behind her, a look of pure hatred for her husband to be coloured her face. But it couldn't erase the sadness that settled in her eyes……


	3. Chapter 2

**True Loves First Kiss**

**Chapter 2**

And so our dear little Fairytale Princess, who had her dreams dashed by her wickedly evil parents, went to sleep thinking ill thoughts of her future marriage to Prince James III. Now you are all wondering, will she marry this prick of a man, fall in love with him and have handsome babies together, well the answer is : I don't know! I don't write the story I just tell it, so hold your horses. What is it with everyone wanting to rush to the end to see if there's a happily ever after?

So anyway, while our dear Princess slept all snugly in her queen sized bed, with purple drapes hanging around her and impossibly fluffy pillows that could sooth the savage soul, tucked gently beneath her head, her dearest jerk of a future husband was grinning evilly in his small servant quarters of a room. Now you are all wondering why a Prince is sleeping in the servant quarters; its simple really. His family really isn't that rich. Prince James III, comes from a badly poor Royal family from a far away land. And no he's not from Far Far Away or Far Far Farther Away. He's from some distant Far Far Farther Still Away Land. So Far away that the King and Queen of Far Far Farther Away didn't hear about his penny of a dowry. There's only one reason a poor Prince would marry a wealthy Princess.

One word: Money.

That's right, not only was our dear Prince a jerk but he was a gold digger. That bugger is worse then Prince Charming!

But at least there is a good third party! He may be poor and he may live in a swamp, and he may smell somewhat like dead animals, but he was a good guy. No matter how much he tried to be a good Ogre to please his dad. And he may just be an unnamed Heir to the throne of Far Far Away. That's right if you guessed it, it is one of Shrek and Fiona's Triplets! Dar oldest by four minutes.

Now he wasn't the most fairest of all, in well , all the land. But! He had a kind heart beneath all that Ogre….Stuff. Even if it was rarely shown, he's more of a closed off, hate the world Ogre who still lives at home with his mother, father and his two siblings. Yes he had grown up to be just like his dad before he met Princess Fiona. But enough about that, I bet you are all just dying to know who the other two of the triplets are! They are Daisy and Gar. They were just seconds apart, a tough labour all together for Fiona, but what a joy it had been. But of course neither Fiona and Shrek imagined how hard it was to have three eighteen year olds living in the house. Puberty must have been a real Bi…hassle. Now I bet you are all wondering what he is doing in this story. I can't tell you! I actually skipped ahead to the end, but my lips are zipped, you all are just going to have to find out.

SO as the sun risen over the mountains in the east our fair pissed off Princess chucked the closet pillow in her grasp towards the singing bird on her window ledge. Did she hit the poor bird? No, it got out of the way in time. But the pillow did hit an unsuspecting guard stationed three floors beneath her window. with a sleepy huff she through back her blankets and stepped on to the fluffy white rug. She had a horrible sleep and was in a foul mood and her date with James this day wasn't helping matters anyway.

"Mother wanted me to look my best" she said gazing into her impossibly large closet, filled with all kinds of patterns and colors of dresses, there were even some tunics and leggings in there. She smirked. "Then I'll just have to look my best." and so she stepped into her too big closet and got lost amongst the clothes.

Was it a man eating closet? No, it was just a packed to the brim closet, or dear Princess was a bloody pack rat.

"Princess?" came the hesitant reply of her lady maid. As the maid stepped into the room, her eyes widened at the lack of Princess. Now the maid was a fickle woman, she hated to think that she lost the Princess on her watch and then have to tell the King and Queen about it. Now that just wasn't a pretty picture.

"Princess!!!"

"I'm in here, Lydia" came the muffled cry of Jenna's voice from the really large closet.

"Princess what are you doing in there?" said Lydia as she set the platter of food she was carrying down on the Princess' entable.

Jenna poked her head out and glared playfully at Lydia.

"How many times am I going to have to tell you to call me Jenna?" she said. Lydia blushed lightly.

"I'm sorry, Princ--Jenna"

"That's better." she said ducking back into her closet. "As to what I'm doing; I'm getting ready for my big date with _Prince James the third_" Jenna said his named with such distaste, even Lydia could taste the acid in her mouth.

As a matter of fact so can I! Man that girl knows how to hate. Ahem, sorry, back to the story.

"Now what should I wear, I have two choices" said Jenna stepping out of her closet. Lydia looked at them and her nose scrunched up in distaste.

"Prince--Jenna" Lydia quickly fixed the mistake as Jenna gave her a light glare. " Those are the dresses your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great Aunt Beatrice, gave you."

"I know.." smirked Jenna as she threw the dress in her right hand back into the closet.

And so our dear Princess started to get ready for her big date with Prince James III, who at this very minute was racing towards Far Far Farther Away on his great noble per-breed miniature Shetland Pony. His hair was doing the whole wave in the wind thing and he had this bright ass smile on his face. As if his horse couldn't make him look any gayer….


End file.
